Four things, all occurring in close succession to one another, has made me realize just how doomed this project is in its current state.
One is the horrendous color palette I selected, which somehow reminds me both of Thanksgiving and Halloween at the same time (in other words, not very cohesive and definitely not my intention). Another is a general lack of water color ability, which was excusable and less noticeable in my previous project (but has now rendered this project flat and ugly). Third is my utter fear for taking any risks; I would love to emulate Richard Prince's nurse paintings, because hey, if I hate it already, why not take a risk? But there's something holding me back, maybe a fear of making it uglier or something. Hopefully I'll get over this mental block by November 7. Lastly is a lack of motivation to continue. I'm not excited to work on this project, and can only do so in thirty minute chunks before getting bored or frustrated. I just want to move on. This project is draining all my artistic zest and replacing it with a tired defeat. I was able to accomplish exactly 2 things this week. One is finally finishing the letters, and amazing! It's uglier than it was before. I hate looking at it, but it's too late. Second is finally deciding an eye color, partly because I have to, and partly to stop looking at a creepy eyeless woman, and it's...okay. I feel extremely ambivalent about it. I want to throw this project in the garbage.
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March 2019
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